Money and Why I Don't Like It

I'm pretty calm under pressure. I don't often panic. I'm usually very practical in an emergency situation.

Except about money.

I don't really know why, but money (or the lack of it really) stresses me out to no end. If you want to see me panic, hand me an unexpected electric bill overage, tell me I'll need twice as much gas this month. It sets me off. I'm not much of a crier, but I'd say 75% of the crying I did in the last year was over my student loan payments (don't even get me started on how I feel about THOSE).

Lawrence on the other hand, almost never worries about money. He's careful with it, and pretty responsible with his spending. But an unexpected car repair of $150, just before we leave for vacation (which of course, also costs money) and he simply shrugs and says "Life costs money." When he can't afford groceries (which happens fairly often), he just smiles his cheeky little smirk-smile and says, "The Lord will provide." Meanwhile I'm staring at him in disbelief and chirping "What do you mean you can't buy any groceries?? How are you going to eat all week?!?!"

Oh me of little faith.

My worry over money is mysterious not only because it brings about uncharacteristic responses from me, but also because Lawrence is right: The Lord ALWAYS provides. Now once have I been unable to pay my bills. Not once have I had to sacrifice my credit score to make ends meet. Not once have I gone to bed hungry. Not once have all of my basic human needs AND my basic assumptive American "needs" not been met.

God has always been faithful. Every time Lawrence has been without groceries, he is offered multiple free meals throughout the week. Every. Single. Time. I'm not making this up. He never worries- and he's always right for it.

So this week when the Honda broke down, and I'm having a mini anxiety attack about how on earth we are going to afford a second car payment, and Lawrence is very seriously suggesting buying a bicycle (like it wouldn't even be a big deal), and I'm imagining outrageous repair costs, and Lawrence is just sighing, and I'm cursing the car for daring to fail us, and Lawrence is calmly defending the car's 240,000+ miles...

...it gets repaired.

For $1.50.

I'm so thankful for a fiance who reminds me that God is faithful, and for a God who continually proves this to be true.

We Should've Gotten Married In September

Our wedding date was a bit of a mystery for awhile. We knew we didn't want a long engagement and originally thought August would have made an excellent choice. But then Lawrence didn't actually propose until late March and my mom and I didn't feel like less than 6 months would really be enough time. Not to mention the cost of flying for my English relatives would have been double the cost than any other month. At the time, Lawrence intended on still being a student, so the next available date was Thanksgiving weekend.

Then Lawrence decided not to go back to school (a decision I am still a huge fan of) and our original venue went out of business. We sort of thought about September again, but the majority of our wedding party are still students. And 2 of my fabulous maids live out of state. And September is hot. And... well whatever.

So we stuck with November.

Now here we are, mere days away from September, and 90 days away from the wedding.

We should've gotten married in September.

I don't know what to do with myself. I feel like all the major planning is done and I'm begging for crunch time to get here so we can finalize flowers and print pretty programs. I mean, we have the clothes (Lawrence got his suit today... for FREE because my parents are absolutely amazing), we have the venue, the band (which I am SO excited about)... I mean, let's get this show on the road already!

But in reality, we still have a lot to do. Like figure out the ceremony. Make the groomsmens' vests. Print the invitations. Figure out if we have enough candlesticks. You know... details. My old bedroom in my parents' house looks like the old catering closet at chartwells.It's become the catch-all space for all things wedding related. We recently pulled everything out and took inventory of what we had, and what we still needed. Behold the madness....




But really, I'm just excited to finally be married to Lawrence. The wedding will be wonderful and fun and special. But it's the marriage I'm truly chomping at the bit for. I want the pretty venue and the gown and the shoes (wait until you see the shoes...) and Lawrence often teases me for being more excited about the wedding than the marriage. But more than anything, I can't wait to be his, and for him to be mine. Officially. Bonded in front of out friends and family and most importantly before God. I'm not delusional. I know this marriage thing takes work. Bring it on.

The Nitty Gritty (boring) Stuff

I really should have started this project soon after Lawrence proposed. I realized recently that I have no documentation of this whole engagement and wedding planning process. Some days I think "for goodness sakes let's just go down to the courthouse and be married already!" But then I remember my dress... I really want to wear that dress.

Seriously though, I'm totally stealing this whole blog idea from my very dear friend (and bridesmaid) Christina... Conrad. She got married like 5 minutes ago so the name throws me. She majored in creative writing and is pretty much amazing so if you go read her blog don't compare it to mine.

Moving on, here's a rundown of the nitty gritty parts of the details thus far. (Because, you know, that's what weddings are all about these days... what food, what theme, what shoes, what gown. They certainly aren't about love and commitment and all of that).

Date: November 27, 2010

Ceremony: St Paul Lutheran Church
Tampa, FL



Reception Venue: Mise En Place
Tampa, FL

The Food & Caterer: Mise En Place is a restaurant first, so our food will all be done by them. We are going cocktail style and featuring... Desserts! Carrot cake, Fruits on Fire (this involves spiced rum, fire, and some sort of sauce stuff... I don't really know what it means but it sure sounded exciting!), Cheese and Fruit platters, Truffles... you get the idea. We will also be hosting 2 dessert wines, some dessert liquors, and a fancy pants coffee station.

The Cake: Since we are doing all desserts, we really don't need a huge cake. So, our very dear friend Jeanette Neal has offered to make it for us!

The Photographer: My go-to girl for photography (Cintia Ally) is also one of my bridesmaids, so we had to hunt elsewhere. The talented Jason Mize will be shooting our wedding and I couldn't be more excited about his work.

Him&Her and Her&Him

Lawrence and Cassie met when they were 4 years old in the church nursery. Subsequent years found her chasing him around Sunday school class in an effort to steal a kiss (or at least that's what his mom tells them. Neither one of them remembers this). Middle school came and went, during which time he tagged along with the other boys who mercilessly teased her, because that's what you do in middle school. High school however, found them joined at the hip after an unexpected encounter in the hallway and a shared lunch period. He likes to live in denial about his behavior as a 16 year old. She lets him because she loves him and... well she's not perfect either. They were best friends, but college came and while they stayed in touch, communication was sparse. Then one day, she came into town for Christmas just before her last semester of college...
...And things were different.

He still acts like he doesn't like it when she tries to kiss him in Sunday school. He's not much of a fan of PDA.
But he likes it.
She knows he does.
She is his and he is hers.
And that is the story of how they came to be
Him&Her and Her&Him.