I'm pretty calm under pressure. I don't often panic. I'm usually very practical in an emergency situation.
Except about money.
I don't really know why, but money (or the lack of it really) stresses me out to no end. If you want to see me panic, hand me an unexpected electric bill overage, tell me I'll need twice as much gas this month. It sets me off. I'm not much of a crier, but I'd say 75% of the crying I did in the last year was over my student loan payments (don't even get me started on how I feel about THOSE).
Lawrence on the other hand, almost never worries about money. He's careful with it, and pretty responsible with his spending. But an unexpected car repair of $150, just before we leave for vacation (which of course, also costs money) and he simply shrugs and says "Life costs money." When he can't afford groceries (which happens fairly often), he just smiles his cheeky little smirk-smile and says, "The Lord will provide." Meanwhile I'm staring at him in disbelief and chirping "What do you mean you can't buy any groceries?? How are you going to eat all week?!?!"
Oh me of little faith.
My worry over money is mysterious not only because it brings about uncharacteristic responses from me, but also because Lawrence is right: The Lord ALWAYS provides. Now once have I been unable to pay my bills. Not once have I had to sacrifice my credit score to make ends meet. Not once have I gone to bed hungry. Not once have all of my basic human needs AND my basic assumptive American "needs" not been met.
God has always been faithful. Every time Lawrence has been without groceries, he is offered multiple free meals throughout the week. Every. Single. Time. I'm not making this up. He never worries- and he's always right for it.
So this week when the Honda broke down, and I'm having a mini anxiety attack about how on earth we are going to afford a second car payment, and Lawrence is very seriously suggesting buying a bicycle (like it wouldn't even be a big deal), and I'm imagining outrageous repair costs, and Lawrence is just sighing, and I'm cursing the car for daring to fail us, and Lawrence is calmly defending the car's 240,000+ miles...
...it gets repaired.
For $1.50.
I'm so thankful for a fiance who reminds me that God is faithful, and for a God who continually proves this to be true.
